(Blog Part 1 for MAIP)

That was said by L. M. Montgomery. To be completely honest, I just Googled "June quotes" and liked this one the most.

The month of June felt like the wave pool at Dorney Park, when you just aren't tall enough and can't swim but fight to survive on your tippie toes.

"no hardwork goes unacknowledged. the universe hears and sees you" by gumhuit

Reflecting on June 2020

MAIP's first ever Virtual Engagement Program kicked off in the beginning of the month, along with my externship at Rapp and Organic. I'm so grateful to have these opportunities in the midst of Covid-19 and many internships getting rescinded, because of the stay home order.

Finding out that I was chosen as a finalist for MAIP and selected by an agency for a UX/UI and Graphic Design internship as a MAIP fellow was such a powerful moment for me. The past year or so was rougher than usual and I felt like I simply had no purpose. Going through the application process was arduous, but I pushed through keeping in mind that this was an investment in myself and my future. Finally, I wanted to put myself first instead of everyone else in my life.

And then Covid-19 happened... online classes, zoom birthday parties, stocking up on lysol and toilet paper, and internships being cancelled.

I believe that with every shitty situation– there is a lesson to be learned. Take the pandemic for example, not knowing how deadly this virus is or when the next time I'd be able to go grocery shopping without having to prepare for what it seemed like war, anxious thoughts and lucid dreams haven't been so uncommon. (The pandemic is also just terrifying and heartbreaking) ...but what if I were to shift my perspective? Yeah it sucks not being able to go eat out, spend the day at the museum, go to a bar with friends, or actually meet my mentors and co-interns face-to-face. We're able to witness society be flexible and adapt to ever-changing situations and see real shift happening on an individual basis.

Important lessons I learned/remembered (for myself):

• As my therapist reminds me, "healing isn't a linear process" and this can be applied to life in general. With so many ups & downs, it's hard to see the progress we make as we move forward. Without the usual distractions of being outside, socializing, entertainment, etc– we are left with no choice, but to pause and face our demons. I've been putting it off for months, because I didn't have the time or mental capacity to look inwards and then life said "ha, now you really have no excuse!" so yes, it's been full of uPs & dOwNs.
• People love to talk about work/life balance– as they should, but it also made me wonder how this balance might look different to each individual. Being a hard-worker is emphasized in the culture I grew up in and I've always been taught that if I don't go above and beyonnd to make an effort– I wouldn't be successful.

source: somewhere on tumblr

omg i am such a horrible writer and i can't get myself to finish a SINGLE blog post. there are so many things i want to talk about, but can't find the words to. then i start wondering if i sound like an idiot...?!?! also i wonder if anyone will read this entire thing ¯\_(ツ)_/¯